Here is Mark, the Craft Service Key on our show, prepping a tray of agave-sweetened iced Yerba Mate teas to pass around as we shot at a ranch in the valley where it was hot hot HOT. Ah Crafty. You are simultaneously my worst nightmare and my biggest joy in life.
For those of you unfamiliar with the art that is craft services, allow me to fill you in. Craft services refers to the food and drink that is constantly provided on set for the crew. It differs from catering, which, according to union guidelines, must provide a full sit-down meal every six hours. On most shows, there is usually a crafty truck, which is like headquarters, with big refrigerators and amenities like a popcorn machine, espresso machine, etc. Then there is the crafty set-up which is usually right on the set where your friendly Crafty team sets up a smorgasbord of tasty treats and drinks which you can spend all day perpetually stuffing into your face. In addition to this constant flow of foodstuffs, crafty provides a “snack” three hours after every catering meal.
Now this snack isn’t like the celery and peanut butter you might give a kid when he comes home from school, the “snack” is basically a full-on meal just like lunch, the main difference being you eat it while you work, you don’t get a break. One day they might have a buffet of thai dishes, another day there might be an array of gourmet sandwiches. Lucky for me, the crafty guys on our show happen to be awesome and they always make sure that every snack has a good vegan option. And I don’t just mean that when they order sandwiches they give me a caprese and tell me to remove the cheese. There is always a substantial, delicious vegan option. This is really impressive considering they go out of their way to do that just for moi, the only vegan on the crew.
Today, for our second snack, crafty had these amazing mango summer rolls. Fresh mango, cucumber, carrots, lettuce, cilantro, and mint were all wrapped up in sesame-studded rice paper. They were huge–actually more like a sandwich wrap than a roll–and I totally had more than I should have. And therein lies the problem with crafty–it’s a daily struggle to resist stuffing my face full of treats all day long. Click here for a very funny and accurate description of craft services from KCRW’s “Martini Shot” series. So if you have a weight problem, you better not work in show biz because it’s a dieter’s worst fear realized.
In other news, if you are in the L.A. area I highly recommend you try to catch the show at Largo at the Coronet tonight. It’s Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen doing one-acts written by Paul Thomas Anderson. Kirby Von Scrumptious and I went last night (tonight is the only other night) and it was delightful! Technically they are sold out but they save some tickets to sell at the door. It was also a starfest–I haven’t been in a room with so many famous people since going to the Grammys. We sat right behind Jack Black amongst others. So if celeb sighting is something you’re into, Largo is the place to be tonight.